I wish I can stop caring, so I can stop hurting

 I pray that I can forgive you

Almost everyday...

However I realise that I can’t afford to do so..

You hurt me too deep

I was broken into pieces, and the broken pieces gone

I wasn’t able to pick it up and glue it once more

It’s just gone...

Along with the love for you

The love that I once give you deeply

Seeing you making my life better

Having you beside me makes me feel I am the happiest girl ever

But...

You chose to break my heart

You chose to cut both ends with one cut toward your own blood

You are a monster

The monster that hurt your little sister more than anyone will ever did in her life

You’re suppose to be the one that love me most, protect me most

Not only breaking my heart, you even stepped on the broken pieces so that it will never ever be fix forever

They say, if it still hurts, you still care;

I bet, I still care...

But who am I right?

I really hope, I stop caring so that I wont be hurt anymore

Happy Birthday Bestie

 Happy belated birthday Bestie....

I remembered yur birthday...

I just not available to post the wish on the day...

I make the longest du'as that day after prayers, a special du'as for a special person...

You deserve the best!

But Allah loves you more.....

Know that we love you too....

Too much that it hurt...

It has been years, but it feels like yesterday that you left us...

However, I am very thankful for the short times...

I am grateful for everything...

thank you for being a very great friend...

Happiest birthday Brother! 

Jatuh Bangun

Acap kali aku berazam...

Berulang kali aku rebah...

Jatuh terduduk, tak mampu berdiri

Beribu kali aku mengorak langkah,

Berjuta kali kaki tersungkur,

Lingkup tersembam menyembah bumi...

Mencuba bangun,

Namun kerap kali terpesong...

Tersasar, hanyut...

Kali ini,

Aku nekad bangun semula...

Merangkak perlahan...

Dengan harapan,

Mampu berdiri,

Lalu berjalan

Dan akhirnya berlari...

Aku masih mencari...

Belum putus asa mencari sinar...

walaupun sering hanyut dalam kegelapan, 

Masih ada cahaya untuk ku berpatah kembali...

Sering aku tertanya,

Sampai bila harus begini...

Jawapan tidak kutemu, hanya buntu menyesak diri...

Lalu aku hanyut kembali;

Dalam tangisan, menyelam perasaan...

Aku tenggelam, terkapai-kapai mencari daratan...

Yang belum aku temu, walaupun dapat ku lihat dari kejauhan...

Andai kata nyawa ditarik, dimana tempatku di siSiNya?

Ilmu didada, sejengkal cuma, bagaimana harus ku melangkah?

Blood related Strangers

 Happy New Year 2021!!

Walaupun yang belated...

2020 yang penuh dengan onak ranjau... 

macam-macam dugaan yang melanda...

Whatever happened, happened..

We can't change the things that happened..

I struggled much during last year...

Too much hearthache, too much tears

Too many unresolve stuffs

The person I love

Broke me into pieces

The same blood flows in my vein,

Broke me into someone that I don't even know anymore...

That blood related stranger....

I hope you never know how broken I am after hearing those words from you

I hope you never know because it will break you 100 times worst than what you did...

because I know you loved me more than others...

ONE misunderstanding, and we part ways..

Do you realized how much it breaks me?

or maybe broke you into pieces too???

I thought we were stronger than that big bro...

I thought our blood is far more stronger than the misunderstanding..

but turns out, we were NOTHING compare to a rumor..

Turns out, our blood were NOTHING...

You threw me away... 

Refused to acknowledge me as a little sister anymore

I'm sorry I walked away..

I can't stay , can't forgive you anymore..

Let this be a closure...

I will never forgive and forget...

Blame me for everything, but...

You will never get my forgiveness...

Your broken little blood related stranger

KhaYFa