Warkah buat Sahabat

Bismillahirahmannirrahim...

(alfatihah kepada HAA)

Dear sahabat...

14 Tahun yang lepas kau kembali pada Pencipta..

Andai hari ini kau masih ada,

kau mesti bangga pada aku yang hari ini....

Too much things happened in these 14years...

I have so much to tell you...

I have grown up so much!

I am married now...

I have a job now and currently pursuing my study...

If you're still here, 

you must be happy and of course you'll be my Husband's bestie too..

I talk to him about you, constantly...

He knows that you must be a great friend..

Indeed you was...

I've always thankful for the short times that we lived, the times we created memories together.....

I've always pray for you...

I've always missing you...

You're not only my bestfriend;

You was my brother;

My partner in crimes;

My secrets keeper;

My advisor;

My Role model..

when you left, Im still so young, so inexperience

So clingy and you know what, I faced lots of difficulties to blend in after you left...

I don't even know how to live without you...

I recollect the memories of you and it keeps me sane and stronger...

I am who I am today, because I believe you would always wanted me to move on and live my life....

thank you for the memories HAA...

You know we love you..

May Allah shower your souls with His blessings and May you Happy in the afterlife...

with love,

Your little sister

KhaYFa

Empty

Happy Raya Everyone...

It has been quite some times....

I've been caught up with works...

fighting with my own emotions...

Struggling with studies....

Yep...

Life has never been easy huh??

I have been having rough days lately..

Been oversensitive..

Feels broken again...especially when the tragedy  keep coming back ='(

There's a saying state that "make a mistake once, no matter how much you have contribute to the society, people remember that ONE mistake"

thats what happens to my already broken family...

There is nothing that can mend what is broke...

Especially trust..

It has been  years...

Its not days you know, its  DAMN YEARS!!!

and NOTHING changed..Not even A PROGRESS

no FORGIVENESS, NO let bygones be bygones

Everyone just choose to leave...

That BROKEN family that I had before, becomes not even what we can call BROKEN...

It changes into STRANGERS..

Everyone stay away

Everyone decided not to turn back to the place we call HOME anymore..

I can't even call it HOME anymore

Gosh..

Until today, I dont even know how I feel..

I dont even know how to feel...

I can't explain what I feel..

I wanted to cry my eyes out..

I wanted to scream my lungs out..

but at the end of the day, I sucked it up!

I kept it to myself...

I am broken...

Broken beyond repair..

Everytime I go back, I looked at my parents, it tore me down into million of pieces... AGAIN and AGAIN..

There is no timeline for the broken heart...

Not even knowing if there is any cure...

Until then, all I can do is, chins up and face life

Life is ugly sometimes, but we must cherish the good times..

-KhayFa-